Becoming Me in Italy: The Journey That Changed Everything
- Elinor Salter
- 22 hours ago
- 3 min read
I can remember the day we originally left for Italy as if it was yesterday. It was VERY early in the morning, and we drove off in our 4x4 with a horse trailer on the back full of the necessities for 3 months, 2 dogs tucked in the back of the car amongst cases and bags and our 4-year-old son, strapped into his seat. My parents were standing on the doorstep sleepily waving goodbye.
It was an incredibly bittersweet moment, as on one hand we were so excited for our new life, but on the other hand, my mother had just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and it was very hard to leave her.
The drive over was not without incident – in fact I could probably write a whole book on that journey alone! – but we eventually got to our destination; a rented house in the hills above Lake Trasimeno. We were staying there for 3 months, whilst we house hunted.
I don’t think I had ever felt so adrift in all my life. I was the only one of the three of us who spoke any sort of Italian and the responsibility hit me like a brick! It was January and we hadn’t expected Italy to be so cold! We had a few contacts there, who were ex-pats, but apart from that, we knew no one.
Again, the stories I could tell of those three months would fill another book! Like the time our Jack Russell picked up some poisoned meat and we had to make a mercy dash to the nearest vet, not knowing where on earth one was! Or the time we ventured to an English speaking church, where there was a dead saint’s embalmed body in a glass box at the front of the church and a retired opera singer who insisted on singing every hymn loudly and VERY slowly, which ended up in the organist threatening to walk out. Experiences of all types that enriched and emboldened us.
The great Philosopher Epictetus said “Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself.”
― Epictetus
He is so right. Italy was where I found myself. The real me was revealed and I found that I liked her, I recognised her and I had REALLY missed her.
To be honest I didn’t, until that point, realise that I had lost myself, but when I had that feeling I’d come home, that I felt complete, that I really liked the person I was there, and my petals started to unfurl to show the real me – then I understood how lost I had been.
All at once I knew who that real me was, the authentic person at my very core. The person I had once been but had got lost in all the flotsam of life. The expectations of others, careers, relationships, motherhood, deep-seated emotional triggers, had all chipped away at that core person, until its shape was un-recognisable. Had I not had the good fortune of going to live in Italy, I could have probably plodded on for ever, remaining in that shape, happy-ish, but feeling ever so slightly dissatisfied and ill-at-ease, as if I was an imposter in my own life.
Time has moved on and we have been in Italy on and off for more than 20 years and now embarking on another chapter and moving back out to our beloved Tarquinia, so I can grow my business in the Country that inspires it. I have so many clients who are moving out there, who have already made that jump, or who are more than happy to just dream about it. And they are my main focus. Helping them find themselves – find their true essence – and start to live the life they were always destined for. Once they have made that change, that shift, and start to dress for that person, the effects on every area of their life is transformational and what makes my job so wonderful!
Again, as that amazing Philosopher says –
“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”― Epictetus
I would go one step further though – imagine now who you want to be and start dressing for that person straight away and you will soon become her.
You have to, it is the law of vibration.
How exciting is that?!! 😉😎
You might be interested to read - Guide to dressing like an Italian
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